Module 1
Module 2 (L16-31)
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MODULE 5
MODULE 6
MODULE 7
MODULE 8

Lesson 106

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Mencari Pasangan

indonesian way

Sepasang Kumbang (shutterstock)

Aims

  • To review and practise adjectives that can be used to talk about personality and character and start talking about the relationship between husband and wife.

Vocabulary Review

Kosa Kata LaluFlashcardsFind the Hidden WordsLatihan 1L2

Here are some of the frequent words used in this lesson that have appeared in previous lessons.

aneh,  bahu,  bantuan,  beragama,  bercerai,  bidan,  ingin,  jilbab,  keren,  keriting,  lumayan,  lurus,  masalah,  menikah,  menjahit,  merawat,  merokok,  nonton,  pendidikan,  pengusaha,  penuh,  pokoknya,  sederhana,  setuju,  SMA,  sopan,  swasta,  tempat tinggal,  usaha

Use the following flashcards to review the Kosa Kata Lalu vocabulary items.

Kosa Kata Lalu Pelajaran 106

[qdeck align=”center”] [q]

aneh

[a]

strange, weird

[q]

bahu

[a]

shoulders

[q]

bantuan

[a]

an assistance

[q]

beragama

[a]

to be a follower of a religion

[q]

bercerai

[a]

to have a divorce

[q]

bidan

[a]

a midwife

[q]

ingin

[a]

to want, to desire

[q]

jilbab

[a]

hijab

[q]

keren

[a]

stylish

[q]

keriting

[a]

curly, wavy (of hair)

[q]

lumayan

[a]

not really bad

[q]

lurus

[a]

straight

[q]

masalah

[a]

a problem

[q]

menikah

[a]

to get married

[q]

menjahit

[a]

to sew

[q]

merawat

[a]

to take care, to nurse

[q]

merokok

[a]

to smoke

[q]

nonton

[a]

to watch (movies etc.)

[q]

pendidikan

[a]

education

[q]

pengusaha

[a]

a businessman(woman)

[q]

penuh

[a]

full

[q]

pokoknya

[a]

basically

[q]

sederhana

[a]

simple

[q]

setuju

[a]

to agree

[q]

SMA

[a]

high school

[q]

sopan

[a]

polite

[q]

swasta

[a]

private, not public)

[q]

tempat tinggal

[a]

a place of residence

[q]

usaha

[a]

a business

[/qdeck]

Attributes of Character and Behaviour

You have already met and used a host of terms that can be used to describe physical appearance, personal characteristics and emotions. For example, you have met several contrasting pairs of adjectives that can be used to describe a person’s physical appearance. These include:

  • muda
    besar
    cantik
    gemuk
    tinggi
    laki-laki
    rambut panjang
    tua
    kecil
    jelek
    kurus
    pendek
    perempuan
    rambut pendek

To talk about a person’s achievements and personality you can use: (a translation is displayed on mouse-over)

aneh,  baik,   berani,  bergengsi,  berhasil,   bersih,  biasa,  bodoh,  cocok,  dingin,   halus,   kasar,  kaya,  keren,   kotor,  kuat,  manis,   marah,  membosankan,  menarik,   menyenangkan,  miskin,  moderen,   pandai,  penting,  sederhana,   rajin,  ramah,   terkenal

Check that you remember the meanings of these important and very common words.

Catatan Budaya: Gengsi

Cara Indonesia

The words gengsi and bergengsi are usually translated as “prestige” and “prestigious”. This definition does not sufficiently convey the complex underlying cultural concept of gengsi, and the Kamus Besar Bahasa Indonesia (KBBI) uses the following words to roughly circumscribe what gengsi entails: 1. kehormatan dan pengaruh ‘respect and influence’, 2. harga diri ‘self-esteem’, and 3. martabat ‘stature, dignity‘.

Gengsi is indeed all about prestige, but also about respect, esteem, social status, stature, rank, and pride.

Things that are bergengsi: wearing dark sunglasses, speaking English, listening to Western music, wearing a Rolex, driving a nice car, wearing designer clothes, and so on.

Not only things, also professions carry gengsi. A farmer is less bergengsi than a teacher, for instance.

In Indonesia, houses are often cheaper than cars. In Medan, which is a big city with some of the more expensive house prices, you can get a four bedroom house for about €30,000, but even for a modest Corolla you pay more. Of course, the house will be situated on a small section of only 150m2, but that is a solid investment into the future. Yet, many people prefer living in a small house just to be able to buy a car. After all, while it does add to someone’s gengsi being a home owner, but being seen leaving your little mansion on a motorbike or even taking public transport – what a shame.

To illustrate how adjectives like these can be used to describe people, further down you will find some advertisements, copied with a few deletions and some minor editing from a regular column in the fortnightly popular magazine Liberty published in Surabaya. The column helps readers locate a spouse.

Read the advertisements very carefully. There are four from men and four from women. They are written in a series of short phrases rather than in complete sentences. Check the vocabulary cards if you find words you don’t know.

Mencari Pasangan Hidup

Mencari Istri Setia

Ingin yang berjilbab

Nama: Muhamad Isa. Status: belum kawin. Lahir tahun 1976, tinggal di Bandung, suku Sunda, beragama Islam. Pendidikan SMA, pekerjaan BUMN, tinggi 165 cm, berat 46 kg, kulit sawo matang, wajah lumayan, rambut hitam kemerah-merahan. Hobi bersepeda, kenalan, membaca, nonton, dengarkan musik. Sederhana, tidak royal, bertanggung jawab, dari keluarga baik-baik.

Istri yang diinginkan. Status: belum kawin atau janda tanpa anak. Umur di bawah 25 tahun, tempat tinggal tidak menjadi masalah, beragama Islam (taat), suku tidak menjadi masalah. Pendidikan SMA, pekerjaan juru rawat, bidan, karyawan toko. Yang penting harus berjilbab, wajah manis, tidak materialistis, dari keluarga baik-baik.

Ingin istri yang buka katering/kantin/warung

Nama: Liem Tek Siong. Status: duda, lahir tahun 1933, bertempat tinggal di Waru Sidoarjo (Jawa Timur). Suku Cina, beragama Budha, pendidikan sekolah Mulo (Bahasa Belanda), sudah pensiun tinggal dengan anak. Tinggi 168 cm, berat badan 66 kg, kulit sawo matang, wajah bulat, hobi membaca, menulis surat, badminton, tidak banyak bicara tetapi terbuka. Sudah tua tetapi sehat.

Istri yang diinginkan Status: janda tanpa anak (atau, anak sudah besar), umur 35-58 tahun, suku dan agama tidak menjadi masalah, pendidikan juga tidak menjadi masalah asal bisa membaca dan menulis. Pekerjaan mengurus katering, kantin atau membuka warung makan, membutuhkan bantuan seorang laki-laki (saya ingin membantu). Tinggi 160 cm berat badan 50 kg, kulit dan wajah biasa saja, terbuka, pandai mengurus uang dan usaha dagang.

Guru bahasa Inggris berkumis lebat

Nama: Ari Matumona. Status: belum kawin. Lahir tahun 1974, tinggal di Maluku Tengah, suku Ambon, agama Kristen, pendidikan universitas, pekerjaan guru bahasa Inggris di SMA. Tinggi 162 cm, berat 58 kilo, kulit sawo matang, wajah lumayan, pasti tidak mengecewakan. Berkumis lebat, rambut keriting. Hobi menyanyi, membaca, sifat setia, penuh tanggung jawab, percaya diri, penuh disiplin dalam tugas, jujur, terbuka, serius, tidak materialistis, suka tertawa, pandangan luas.

Istri yang diinginkan. Status: belum kawin. Umur 17-27 tahun. Agama bebas, suku apa saja, tempat tinggal di mana saja, pendidikan minimal SMA, pekerjaan pegawai negeri atau pegawai swasta dengan penghasilan/gaji tetap. Tinggi 160-165 cm, wajah manis, rambut hitam panjang, pokoknya tidak mengecewakan. Tidak materialistis, pandai mengatur rumah tangga, cinta suami dan keluarga, tidak mudah tersinggung, tidak cemburu, dari keluarga baik-baik. Harus bersedia menikah dengan segera.

Beranak dua ingin istri setia

Nama: Wahyu Utomo Purnama. Status: duda, punya dua anak (laki-laki satu berumur lima tahun, perempuan satu berumur empat tahun). Lahir tahun 1966, tinggal di Malang, beragama Katolik, pekerjaan pengusaha / pedagang, tinggi 162 cm berat 65 kg. Kulit kuning langsat, wajah biasa saja. rambut hitam lurus. Hobi olahraga / lari pagi, suka tertawa, jujur, setia, dari keluarga baik-baik.

Istri yang diinginkan. Status:janda, umur 25-34 tahun, beragama Kristen atau Katolik, pendidikan SLTA, suku Cina, tinggi maksimal 160 cm, minimal 150 cm. Sehat, wajah biasa (tidak usah yang cantik-cantik), jujur, setia, sudah bekerja, sayang suami dan anak, pandai mengatur rumah tangga.

Mencari Suami Setia

Kulit putih dan romantis

Fransiska Wijaya. Status: gadis belum kawin. Lahir tahun 1979, tinggal di Surabaya, suku Cina, beragama Katolik, pendidikan SMA, pekerjaan karyawan perusahaan swasta. Tinggi 155 cm, berat 64 kg, kulit putih, wajah biasa saja / sederhana, rambut panjang. Hobi suka jalan-jalan dan rekreasi ke luar kota, dengarkan musik, sifat romantis, jujur, setia.

Suami yang diinginkan. Status: belum kawin, umur 26-30 tahun, suku Cina, beragama Katolik atau Buddha, pendidikan minimal SMA, sarjana juga boleh. Pekerjaan pengusaha atau pegawai, tinggi dan berat badan seimbang, wajah lumayan, jujur, sabar, setia, bertanggung jawab, dari keluarga baik-baik.

Penampilan keren

Ningsih Setiawati. Status: gadis / belum kawin. Lahir tahun 1984, bertempat tinggal di Nganjuk (Jawa Timur), suku Jawa, beragama Islam taat, pendidikan SMA, pekerjaan perusahaan swasta. Tinggi 158 cm, berat 45 kg, kulit kuning langsat, wajah cantik, rambut hitam lurus sampai ke bahu, ada tahi lalat di pipi kiri. Hobi rias kecantikan, memasak, menyanyi, punya penampilan keren, sederhana, jujur, ramah, sopan, agak pemalu, dari keluarga baik-baik.

Suami yang diinginkan. Status: belum kawin, umur maksimal 27 tahun, tinggal di Solo / Yogya / Jakarta, suku Jawa, beragama Islam taat, pendidikan mahasiswa tingkat akhir atau sarjana, pekerjaan karyawan bank swasta, tinggi minimal 170 cm, tinggi dan berat seimbang, penampilan rapi, rambut pendek rapi, kulit putih bersih, wajah ganteng, suka berdiri di kaki sendiri, jujur, setia, sederhana, sopan, ramah, sayang keluarga. Hanya untuk Anda yang serius, silakan kirim biodata dengan foto terbaru.

Cari yang berkumis

Nama: Nurhayati. Status: gadis / belum kawin. Lahir tahun 1979, tempat tinggal Banjarmasin (Kalimantan Selatan), suku Melayu. Pendidikan SLTA, pekerjaan pegawai negeri sipil. Tinggi 158 cm, agak kurus, kulit kuning, wajah oval, rambut panjang, hobi jalan-jalan rekreasi, nonton, sederhana dan sedikit romantis.

Suami yang diinginkan. Status: belum pernah kawin, umur maksimal 35 tahun, beragama Islam, pendidikan SLTA atau universitas/sarjana, pekerjaan karyawan BUMN atau pegawai negeri sipil, tinggi minimal 165 cm, tidak gemuk, tidak materialistis, bertanggung jawab, romantis, senang kalau berkumis.

Cari suami yang sayang anak

Nama: Ninuk Subroto. Status: janda (sedang bercerai) dengan satu anak kecil, lahir tahun 1981, tinggal di Malang, suku Jawa beragama Islam. Pendidikan pernah kuliah. Tinggi 155 cm, berat 48 kg, kulit kuning langsat, rambut agak pendek, wajah cantik, manis tidak mengecewakan, feminin. Hobi mengatur rumah tangga, memasak, menjahit, dengar musik dan jalan-jalan. Sifat jujur, sedikit keras, bertanggung jawab, romantis, sehat, dari keluarga baik-baik.

Suami yang diinginkan. Status: belum kawin atau duda (duda cerai atau duda mati, tanpa anak), umur 25-30 tahun, hari dan pasaran harus cocok, bertempat tinggal di Malang, Jawa Timur dan Jawa Tengah juga boleh, suku Jawa, beragama Islam taat, pendidikan pernah kuliah, pekerjaan TNI/pegawai negeri/karyawan bank, karyawan telkom, petani sukses, pengusaha sukses. Tinggi dan berat seimbang, kulit kecoklat-coklatan, wajah tidak menjadi masalah, tidak merokok dan tidak suka minum minuman keras, punya hobi yang tidak aneh, mau menerima anak sebagai anak sendiri, jujur, bertanggung jawab, setia, romantis, mau menerima segala kekurangan yang ada pada istrinya, sehat, dari keluarga baik-baik/keluarga TNI. Yang serius ingin berkenalan, kirimkan foto ukuran kartu pos.

LatihanL3L4L5L6L7L8L9

Now complete the exercises in the tabs. Consult your dictionary or the vocabulary list when you encounter unknown words.

Cara Indonesia

The Rhetoric of Male-Female Relationships

Cara Indonesia

The advertisements in Liberty give us some interesting insights into several exotic aspects of Indonesian values and social relations. For example, there are references to janda and duda. Janda can be translated as “divorcee” or “widow” depending on context. Basically it means “a woman who has lost her husband (whether through death or divorce)”. Duda is the counterpart term for men. As you can see, we have no exact equivalents for these terms in English. In fact the very idea they represent seems strange.

The advertisements also refer to beragama Islam taat (a practising/devout follower of Islam). The word taat (devout, obedient) reflects the perception that there are degrees of piety and orthodoxy in Indonesia’s Muslim community. You can expect someone who is taat to pray five times a day and observe other features of orthodox Islamic practice. For women the wearing of the jilbab (a cotton headscarf pinned or wrapped under the chin) is one sign of taat.

Some advertisements refer admiringly to complexion in terms of certain fruits (just as in English you might say that a woman has a “peaches and cream” complexion). The sawo is a kind of dark skinned fruit a bit bigger than an egg in size with a sweet, dark coloured pith. Thus sawo matang (ripe sawo) describes a complexion that is attractively dark in colour. The langsat is a grape-sized fruit with a smooth creamy-yellow skin. Kuning langsat describes a complexion that is attractively creamy in colour.

By the way, the column in Liberty is called “Rama dan Shinta”. Rama and Shinta (also called Sinta and Sita) are the main characters in the Ramayana, an epic of Indian origin that is very well-known in Indonesia. King Rama and his consort Shinta are devoted husband and wife. When Shinta is kidnapped by the ogre king Rahwana, she remains faithful to her husband, and he in turn relentlessly pursues Rahwana to rescue his beloved wife. Rama and Shinta are icons of marital devotion and fidelity. In the advertisements below, one of the main attributes sought in a spouse is setia (faithful, loyal).

Exercise 106-01

Write an advertisement for a husband, wife, or, if you wish, a same-sex partner for insertion in an Indonesian newspaper/magazine. After studying the advertisements above and reviewing the adjectives at the beginning of the lesson, describe your own attributes as fulsomely as you can (but not necessarily with 100% honesty). Then describe the attributes you expect in your ideal partner.

Rambu di Jalan Raya Bahasa

Tersinggung & Sakit Hati

Rambu

In Lesson 101 we learned that sakit hati (literally: ‘sick in the liver’) translates as ‘to be offended’ or ‘harbouring resentment’. In this Lesson tersinggung is introduced having the same meaning.

While both words can translate as ‘offended’ there are subtle differences. The word tersinggung literally means ‘touched’ and is based on the root singgung, which, however, is never used without an affix.

The active form is menyinggung, which can both mean ‘to touch’, ‘to touch upon’, as well as ‘to touch one’s feeling’:


  • Ia menyinggung tangannya.
    She touched her hand.

  • Dalam buku ini, saya tidak akan menyinggung pertanyaan ini.
    In this book I will not touch upon this question.

  • Kamu sudah terlalu sering menyinggung perasaannya.
    You have already offended her feelings too often.

The prefix ter- indicates that tersinggung is a passive verb and that the act was carried out without intention. Tersinggung hence need not imply an intentional hurting but it may indicate merely a violation of the victim’s sense of what is proper or fitting. Because of this, someone who is tersinggung will most likely forgive (memaafkan) the person who has caused the offense.

Sakit hati on the contrary is usually a long-lasting condition of deep resentment often caused by being offended (tersinggung) where the offense is deemed so strong that (at least temporarily) there is no forgiveness. Love is, of course, the main culprit causing sakit hati. In a blog I recently read: Sakit hati adalah kebalikan dari cinta (sakit hati is the flip-side of love).

The nearest gloss for hati is English ‘heart’, but sometimes it also translates as ‘mind’. There are several fixed verbal expressions formed with hati:

senang hati relaxed, happy, peace of mind
susah hati troubled, worried
kecil hati annoyed, hurt, discouraged
busuk hati (lit. rotten-hearted), evil-minded
baik hati good hearted
puas hati satisfied, pleased
ambil hati to charm (someone), win over
sampai hati to have the heart to
tidak sampai hati not to have the heart to, can’t stand to (do something)
hati kecil conscience, inner voice
hati-hati watch out
dari hati ke hati from person to person
suka hati do as you please

Many cultures have the liver as the seat of emotions. Indonesian hati is rendered ati or ate in many Indonesian regional languages. Among the Maori of New Zealand (and virtually every other Polynesian nation too) ate is not only the organ liver, but also the seat of affections. As Hawaiian has no consonant /t/, the word for liver is ake.

Dikte

Role Play: Playing Matchmaker

The advertisements given above come from four men and four women. Give each individual a name, preferably an Indonesian name. With your teacher/tutor or with fellow students in your class match each of the four men with one of the four women. There will be differing views about who is best matched with whom, so a vigorous debate will take place, entirely in Indonesian of course. If options run out, it may even be necessary to endorse a match that is somewhat less than perfect for one or more of the marital hopefuls.

In Module 4, beginning in Lesson 54 you began practising how to exchange opinions and debate things, and these skills were developed in each of the subsequent modules. It will help you make a success of this role play if you thoroughly review the relevant lessons.

Lesson 35 also gives practice with the comparison of adjectives using lebih ____ daripada (more ____ than). Lesson 53 gives practice with terlalu (too). Lesson 80 gives practice using yang paling ____ (the most). Lesson 43 gives practice with mengapa/kenapa (why), and Lesson 45 gives practice with siapa yang (who is it that is). All of these expressions will make a big contribution to the matchmakers’ debate if they are well mastered, so review the relevant lessons carefully.

Two adjectives that you will use a lot in this discussion are cocok and sesuai which mean “right (for someone)”, “suitable (for someone)” or “compatible (with someone)”.

You might begin the discussion something like this.

  • Menurut pendapat saya, [name] yang paling cocok untuk [name], karena…
    In my opinion, [name] is the most suitable for [name] because…

    Maaf, saya kurang setuju. Saya kira [name] lebih sesuai untuk [name] karena…
    Sorry, I don’t really agree. I think [name] is better for [name] because…

    Saya sama sekali tidak setuju. [Name] tidak cocok untuk [name] karena…
    I disagree completely. [Name] is not right for [name] because…

    Kenapa? Bagaimana kalau [name] itu kawin dengan [name]? Mungkin lebih cocok.
    Why? What if [name] marries [name]? They may be more compatible.

    Aduh! Tidak! [Name] itu terlalu [adjective] untuk [name]. Saya kira lebih baik kalau…
    Oh! No! [Name] is too [adjective] for [name]. I think it would be better if…

    Hmmmm. Baik. Lalu siapa yang paling cocok untuk [name]?
    Hmmmm. Okay. So who is best for [name]?

New Vocabulary for this Lesson

Daftar Kata (Word List)L10-Teka-Teki SilangL11-Cari kataL12-Cari kataFlashcards

Daftar Kata

  • Please note that all vocabulary items printed in bold may appear in an exam!
  • The book icon denotes words predominantly used in the written or formal register.
  • A smiling face 🙂 denotes words that are predominantly used in the informal register.
bertanggung jawab to be responsible
bulat round
BUMN (Badan Usaha Mliik Negara) a state-owned corporation
buruk bad, grim, unfavourable, difficult (of a situation)
cemburu jealous (of another man/woman)
diinginkan to be wished, desired
duda a widower, a (male) divorcee
gadis a young unmarried woman, a virgin
janda a widow, a divorcee
jujur honest
kartu pos a postcard
kenalan (•kenal) 1. an acquaintance, 2. (=colloquial for berkenalan) to meet a person, to meet people, to make someone’s acquaintance
kumis a moustache
mengecewakan (•kecewa) disappointing
pandangan (•pandang) someone’s gaze, an opinion/view about something
pasangan (•pasang) partner (i.e. one member of a couple), pasangan hidup life partner
pemalu (•malu) a shy person
penampilan (•tampil) someone’s appearance, the way someone presents themselves
pénsiun retired
percaya diri self-confident
rapi neat, not messy, carefully done/made
royal spendthrift, extravagant (in spending money)
sayang 1. unfortunately, 2. to love someone, to be fond of someone
setia loyal, faithful
sifat a quality (that someone or something possesses), a feature, a characteristic
sipil civil (i.e. not military)
suku ethnic group, tribe
taat obedient (especially obedient to religious laws)
terbuka (•buka) open, open-minded
tersinggung (•singgung) offended, hurt, (by what someone has said)
wajah someone’s face

Find the following hidden words: station, post • self • tidy • pious • round • bad • unmarried woman, girl • honest • appearance • offended • disappointing, to disappoint

Find the following hidden words: moustache • faithful • characteristic • the face • a shy person • jealous • pension • be open • darling, sear, love • a pair • a view • be desired

Use the following flashcards to memorise the newly learned words.

[qdeck align=”center”] [q]

bertanggung jawab

[a]

to be responsible

[q]

bulat

[a]

round

[q]

BUMN (Badan Usaha Milik Negara)

[a]

a state-owned corporation

[q]

buruk

[a]

bad, grim

[q]

cemburu

[a]

jealous (of another man/woman)

[q]

diinginkan

[a]

to be wished, desired

[q]

duda

[a]

a widower, a (male) divorcee

[q]

gadis

[a]

a young unmarried woman, a virgin

[q]

janda

[a]

a widow, a divorcee

[q]

jujur

[a]

honest

[q]

kartu pos

[a]

a post card

[q]

kenalan

[a]

an acquaintance

[q]

kumis

[a]

moustache

[q]

mengecewakan

[a]

disappointing

[q]

nonton

[a]

(colloquial) to go to the movies

[q]

pandangan

[a]

someone’s gaze, an opinion/view about something

[q]

pasangan

[a]

a partner

[q]

pemalu

[a]

a shy person

[q]

penampilan

[a]

someone’s appearance, the way someone presents themselves

[q]

pensiun

[a]

retired

[q]

percaya diri

[a]

self-confident

[q]

rapi

[a]

neat, not messy, carefully done/made

[q]

royal

[a]

spendthrift, extravagant (in spending money)

[q]

sayang

[a]

to love someone

[q]

setia

[a]

loyal, faithful

[q]

sifat

[a]

a quality, a characteristic, a feature

[q]

sipil

[a]

civil (i.e. not military)

[q]

suku

[a]

tribe, ethnic group

[q]

taat

[a]

obedient (especially obedient to religious laws)

[q]

terbuka

[a]

open, open-minded

[q]

tersinggung

[a]

offended, hurt (by what someone has said)

[q]

wajah

[a]

someone’s face

[/qdeck]
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